Chapter 1

 

“Are you alright?” I heard a man say. 

“We can’t find a pulse,” I heard another man say. 

“This one is still alive,” a woman’s voice said. 

“What happened here?” the man asked. “I think she’s in shock. I’m  going to sit you down right here,” he said. I felt my body bend into a seated position. “Can you tell me your name? Do you know where you are?” I heard every question and mentally I was answering each one.
“Tina,” I thought I’d said out loud. “At my wedding,” but my lips hadn’t moved. 

“We need to get her to the hospital,” he said. They lay me back on the gurney. I could feel it as they raised it so they could wheel me out of the church. A number of onlookers stood outside of the Historical AME church watching as the scene unfolded before them. Sirens blared from firetrucks, police cars and ambulances. People were crying and shouting. 

I must have blacked out because the next thing I remember was my mother standing over me, holding my hand, and crying. “She’s awake,” she said to my father who was standing on the opposite side of my hospital bed holding my other hand. “Baby,” she said. “Thank God you’re alright.”

“Where’s Dedrick?” I asked. Dedrick was the man I was standing with at the altar. He and I had been together for seven years. We met in our sophomore year in high school. He was the smartest boy in our class. He graduated valedictorian. Usually girls didn’t go for the smart boy, but Dedrick was different. He was the captain of the football team and basketball team. His mother was a lawyer and his father was nonexistent.  He had a brother with his mother and two sisters by his father, but he never met his sisters. .  

You would think that the captain of the football and basketball team would have dated the head cheerleader, but Dedrick chose me.  I was not a part of the in-crowd. I was barely noticeable. Don’t get me wrong, I had a group of friends that I hung out with, but I wasn’t popular. When Dedrick first asked me out, I thought it was a joke. I laughed and said “sure”, but when he showed up at my house to pick me up, I realized he was serious. From that day on we were known as the “it couple”. Of course girls hated me, but it felt nice to be seen. Even if it wasn’t for being me, but for whom I was dating. 

“We can talk about that later,” my mother said, stroking my hair. “I’m just so thankful you’re alright.”

“Where is Dedrick?” I asked again. My mother looked at my father who dropped his head. She patted my hand as she held it. 

“What do you remember about today?” she asked.  

“It’s my wedding day,” I began. “I was standing at the altar then……..I heard a loud sound……I was covered in blood…..the next thing I remember is waking up here. Where is Dedrick?”

“He….,” she said. “He….”

“He what?” I said this time looking at my father. 

“I’m sorry shortcake,” he said. He called me shortcake my whole life. I was the shortest of my siblings. He used to say I was short and sweet. “Dedrick didn’t make it.”

“What do you mean he didn’t make it?” I said. “What do you mean?” I sat up in my hospital bed and started to cry. The man I had been planning to marry since I was a teenager was dead. This had to be a dream. Any minute now I was going to wake up and it was going to be my wedding day. I was going to be in my childhood bedroom, because Dedrick and I had decided to spend the night apart. My mama would be waking me up with breakfast in bed. My sister, Shiela, who’d spent the night on the floor by my bed, would be getting up to walk her dog before getting dressed for the wedding we'd been looking forward to for two years. She was so excited to be my maid of honor. My best friend, Shay, would be knocking on my bedroom door with curling irons and her makeup bag. She’d been doing my hair since high school. When she graduated from Technical School, she opened her own salon. Besides being my matron of honor, she’d agreed to do the wedding parties’ hair and makeup.

“Shortcake,” my father said, snapping me out of my fantasy. “Are you alright?”

“How can I be alright?” I asked. “You just said Dedrick is dead!”

There was a knock on the hospital door and it was pushed open by a tall, white man wearing glasses. “Excuse me,” he said. “I’m detective Sanders,” he said, handing my mother and father his card. “I need to ask you a few questions.”

“You have to do this now?” my father said angrily.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Coates,” he said. “But I find people have a tendency to remember things immediately after they happen rather than waiting for days. Ms. Coates,” he said, turning his attention to me. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“You mean the loss I just found out about?” I hissed. “What do you want to know?”

“Really,” he said. “I’m so sorry I have to do this now, but..”

“Just get it over with,” I interrupted. My father folded his arms over his chest. 

“What do you want to know?” my father said. 

“Do you know of anyone that would want to hurt Mr. Robinson or you, Ms. Coates?” Detective Sanders asked. 

“Me?” I said. “Why me?”

“I’m just asking,” he said. “We have no idea who our shooter was targeting.”

“Of course you do,” my father said. “Dedrick is the one dead, right?”

“Yes,” Detective Sanders said. “But with the shooter aimed directly at the altar, there is no guarantee who he was aiming at. There were multiple bullets and from where the shooter was positioned, he could have hit either one of you,” he said looking at me.

“There’s no one that would want to hurt me,” I said. “Or Dedrick.”

“How well did you know Mr. Robinson?” he asked.  

“We’ve known each other since we were sixteen,” I said. “I knew everything about him and he knew everything about me. There’s no one who’d want to hurt either of us.”

“What about you Mr. Coates?” he said, turning his attention to my father. “You have been in the news lately.”

“Excuse me,” my father said. 

“It’s no secret that you and your business partner, Mr. Nettles have been accused of insider trading.  Could there be anyone that would want to hurt you or your family?”

“I think it’s time for you to leave,” my father said walking around the bed to the hospital door. He opened it waiting for Detective Sanders to walk out.

“If I have any more questions,” he said as he walked towards the door. “I’ll be in touch, and if you think of anything, even the smallest detail, you have my card.” He walked out and if my father could have, he would have slammed the door behind him. 

“The nerve of him,” my father said. 

“Can you blame him?” my mother snapped. “All this bullshit surrounding you and Norman, what do you expect? I told you years ago to part ways with that asshole, but you knew best now look at the situation you have us in.”

“I have us in?” he shouted. “I have nothing to do with some crazy person shooting Dedrick on our daughter’s wedding day, Claire.”

“Stop it!” I yelled. “All you two do  is fight. Just go.”

“Sweetheart,” my mother started.

“Please,” I said. “I just want to be left alone.”

“Are you sure, Shortcake?” my father asked. 

“Please,” I said. My father kissed my forehead and my mother patted my hand.  

“We’ll be right down the hall in the waiting area,” my mother said. “If you need anything….”

“I know ma,” I said. They left reluctantly. I let out a long sign and laid my head back on the bed. How was this my reality? My fiance was dead and my father is being accused of having ties to the killer. What was happening?  This morning I was a blushing bride-to-be and now….I can’t even say I’m a widow. We didn’t even get as far as the exchanging of the rings.  As tears began to fall from my face there was a light knock on the door. When it opened, I couldn’t control the tears that fell. It was Shay. She rushed to the bed and sat beside me, enveloping me in her arms.  She didn’t say anything. She just held me. It was exactly what I needed. Just to be held and allowed to cry. Allowed to mourn. 

The hospital released me the next day. My parents had spent the night in the waiting room, but I didn’t want to go home with them. Shay took me back to the apartment Dedrick and I shared. My parents thought it wouldn’t be a good idea, but I wanted to be with my things, in my home. Shay promised them that she would stay with me and she did. As I walked into my two bedroom apartment, a sense of dread overtook me and I fell to my knees. Shay helped me to my feet and led me to the couch. 

There were packed boxes in the front room and throughout the apartment. Dedrick and I had just closed on our first home and were planning to move in on the day we came back from our honeymoon in Acapulco. I looked around my apartment and couldn’t help but let the tears fall. How was I going to sort this mess out? I hadn’t heard from Dedrick’s parents or any member of his family since yesterday morning before the incident. “Have you spoken to Dedrick’s mother?” I asked Shay. 

“She came to the hospital last night,” Shay said. “She had to…..identify Dedrick’s body and make the arrangements for the funeral home to pick him up. I didn’t see his brother.”

“They were probably somewhere getting drunk,” I said, wiping my eyes. “What am I going to do, Shay? How can I ……?”

“One day at a time,” she said. “One day at a time.” She wrapped her arms around me and I cried into her chest. She rubbed my back and I felt like I’d felt three years ago when Dedrick and I suffered a miscarriage. I remembered her holding me the same way then. Dedrick was away on a business trip when I’d miscarried. No one ever knew but Shay. I didn’t even tell my sister. 

“I’m so scared,” I said. “What if this did have something to do with my father? What if him being with me, got him killed?”

“Do you really believe that?” Shay asked. “You and Dedrick have been together since high school. If someone wanted to hurt either of you, they could have done it a long time ago.”

“But my father hadn’t been in the news until recently,” I said. 

“The police are grasping at straws,” she said, getting up. “Let me get you something to drink.”

“There’s some coconut water in the door of the fridge,” I said. 

“Besides,” she continued. “Why would they hurt your dad’s family and not Mr. Nettles? Everyone knows he’s a crook.”

“What do you mean?:” I asked. Steven Nettles had been a part of my family since I could remember. He and my father had been in business together all of my life. I called him Uncle Steven. His daughter and I had a standing monthly lunch date. I can’t believe that he’s the crook, my mother, and Shay were talking about. She walked over, handing me a bottle of coconut water. 

“Look,” she said, sitting back on the couch beside me. “Mr. Nettles has always been into shady deals. He used to own a real estate company years ago. He was charged with selling properties that weren’t usable. Land that wouldn’t perk and buildings that had liens on them. He even sold people land in other countries that he didn’t own and when the people  went to claim their property, they were told it wasn’t theirs. They tried to sue him, but somehow he was never charged and made to pay restitution. They say it's because he has some high powered attorney. Somehow every illegal deal fell on his business partner. He had to pay all of those people back and served a few years in prison.”

“Why didn’t I know any of this?” 

“Why would you? Your father has always kept you sheltered and away from anything dangerous or unscrupulous. Remember how you found out that someone had broken into your house when we were twelve. You didn’t find out until I asked you about it at school the week after it happened. Even then he told you it was nothing to worry about. You have a wonderful father. Hell. You have a wonderful family. They just want to make sure you’re alright.”

“I know they do,” I said. “I just couldn't go back to the house with them. My mama would be hanging on me like a barnacle. My father would be checking on me every thirty minutes and my sister and brother would walk around me like I’m a wounded dog just looking at me. I didn’t feel like all that.  I just needed some time to be….to just be.”

“I get that,” she said. “I can stay as long as you want me to.”

“You have a business to run,” I said getting up. “I’ll be alright.”

“Are you sure,” she said standing. “I can stay. Charlene is at the salon and she’ll take care of everything.”

“Go,” I said. “Besides. You don’t even trust Charlene. I thought you said she was stealing supplies and using them to do hair in her house.”

“I can stand to lose some products today,” she said. “No shampoo or conditioner is more important than me being here with you.”

“Thank you,” I said, hugging her. “But I’ll be alright. I need to be alone for a while. I need time to process everything.”

“I’ll call and check on you later,” she said walking to the door. “I love you. Pick up when I call or I’m coming right back over here.”

“I love you too,” I said. “And I will.”

When the door closed behind Shay reality set in that I was alone. Not just alone, but lonely. Dedrick was gone. He was the first and only man I’d made love to. He was my person. How do you get over that? I walked into the bathroom and turned on the water to take a shower. They’d taken off my wedding gown by the time I awoke at the hospital. I didn’t ask where it was and frankly I didn’t care. My last memory of it was being covered in Dedrick’s blood. 

I took off the sweatsuit Shay had brought me to the hospital and got into the shower. Reaching for my body wash I knocked over Dedrick’s shower gel. I picked it up, opened the lid, and smelled it. It smelled like him. I hugged it close to my chest and stood under the steam of hot water crying. I would never lay on his chest again and take in the scent of him.  I would never again feel his warm breath on my ear early in the morning when he would spoon me right before we made love. I would never hear him say I love you and mean it with every fiber of his being. He was gone. The love of my life was dead and there was no bringing him back.  

I stood in the shower until all the hot water had stopped and only cold water flowed from the showerhead. I think the sting of the cold water was the only thing and broke my trance. I turned off the water then pulled the white towel down from the hook and wrapped it around my body as I stepped out of the shower. I didn’t remember if I’d actually washed. I went to the bedroom. All of our clothes had been packed. I sat on the bed and stared at the wall.  

Hours must have gone by because when I finally got up to check my phone, I had ten missed calls from Shay, five from my mother, three from Dedrick’s mother, and a host of text messages from various people.  I didn’t bother to check the voicemail.  I dialed Shay’s number. 

“I was just about to come over there,” she yelled. “I told you to answer your phone. I’ve been calling for two hours. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” I said. “I took a shower and ……..I’m fine, Shay.”

“Your mother called me,” she said. “She couldn’t believe I left you alone. I told her you begged me to. She was pissed. I know she’s called. Have you spoken to her?”

“I’m going to call her now,” I lied. 

“Good,” she said. “Are you hungry? I can bring you something to eat when I come by later.”

“No,” I said. “And you don’t have to come by. I’m fine. I just want to sleep.”

“Well,” she said. “I’ll watch you sleep. There’s no way I’m leaving you in that apartment alone tonight. I’ll be there in the next two hours. Leave the key under the mat.” She hung up before I could protest any further.  I grabbed the spare key from the counter, opened the door, and placed the key under the mat. As I was closing the door I heard footsteps approaching. I looked down the hall to see Dedrick’s mother.

“Can I come in?” she said. I opened the door wider so she could enter. She slowly walked inside and sat in the chair opposite the couch. I closed the door. I sat down on the couch in front of her. “How are you?” she asked. “I came to the hospital to see you, but you’d already been discharged.”

“I heard you were there the night it happened,” I said. 

“I was,” she said. “But I couldn’t bring myself to see you then. Do the police have any information on what happened? Who could have done this?”

“No,” I said. 

“Do you know what happened?” she asked. Her question had me taken aback. Why would I know what happened?

“No,” I said. 

“Are you sure? I mean my son was the most honest person in the world. I know he wouldn’t have gotten involved with anyone that may have wanted to hurt him.”

“And I would?” I asked, agitated by her accusations.

“I’m not saying that,” she said. “But the police said your father may have been the reason this happened. Do you know anything? I just want to find out what happened to my son.”

“I don’t know anything,” I said getting up. 

“I didn;t mean to upset you,” she said. “I know you don’t understand how I feel because you don’t have any children, but…….”

“You have some nerve,” I said walking to the door. “Get the hell out!”

“What?”

“Get the hell out of my house! Leave! Now!” I said. “You come here accusing my father after I lost my fiance.”

“I lost a son!” she yelled, springing up from the chair and standing in my face.

I heard the lock on the door turn. Shay walked in. She looked at Ms. Robinson and then at me. “What is going on?” she asked. 

“She was leaving,” I said, not taking my eyes off Ms. Robinson. She looked over at Shay and then back to me. 

“I will find out if your father had anything to do with my son’s death. If he did, I promise you, you will feel the same pain I’m feeling right now.” She pushed past me and headed towards the door. Shay stood in front of her. 

“Is that a threat?” Shay asked. 

“I said it was a promise,” she said. 

“Well let me promise you one thing,” Shay said, moving close to her. “If I see you anywhere near Tina again, you won’t live to fulfill that promise.” Ms. Robinson swallowed hard, seeing the look in Shay’s eyes. Shay backed away and opened the door. Ms. Robinson walked out not looking back. “Who the hell does she think she is?” Shay said, slamming the door. “That bitch has me messed up. I should run down the hall behind her and kick her in the back of the head.” I didn’t say anything. I just sat down on the couch and buried my face in my hands. “Tee. Don’t listen to her.  Your father had nothing to do with this shit. Trust me.”

“That detective has put that idea in everyone’s head,” I said. “Everyone thinks Dedrick’s death is somehow related to my father being a criminal. My father is not a criminal!”

“I know he’s not,” Shay said. “I brought some Chinese takeout. I know you said you weren’t hungry, but you need to eat something. You haven’t eaten anything since the day before yesterday.”

“Okay,” I said walking over to the kitchen table where she started to unbag the food. I sat down at the kitchen table. 

“Where are your plates and forks?” she asked. 

“Everything is in boxes,” I said.

“Well,” she said, opening each box. “It’s going to be like when we were young. I have two plastic forks. We’ll just have to share each box.  What do you want to start with? I brought your favorite. Orange chicken. Here. You start with that and I’ll start with the ham fried rice.”

“Thank you, Shay,” 

“Stop it,” she said. “You don’t have to thank me, but what you do have to do is call your mother. She’s been blowing me up. I thought you said you were going to call her.”

“I don’t feel like talking to her,”

“Alright,” she said. “I’ll text her and tell her I’m here and you’re resting, but tomorrow you have to call her. She worried sick. The last thing you want is for her to come over here.”

“That’s the last thing I want.”

“I know. So, call her in the morning and let her know you’re alright. She just wants to hear your voice.”

“But I’m not alright Shay,” I said, trying to eat my orange chicken as tears fell from my eyes. “I don’t think I’ll ever be alright again.